I’ve been paving the way for me to quit my job as a payroll manager. I’m getting a few things ready to make the slow transition from employee to self-employed, but yesterday I finally had it.
What lit my fuse, was the fact that someone completely messed with my work and overstepped my boundaries, I had talked to her about this before, so I called her to my office and told her to sit in my chair. She was stumped. She just looked at me with a blank stare. I said, “Take my place already, I’m walking out of here“. I must’ve looked determined because when I started getting my things ready to walk out, she opened up.
She apologized and told me her side of the story, I listened and then told her my side of the story.
I even went as far as telling her that “I no longer feel like I belong here and when these things happen, it takes away the only reason left that keeps me here.” She expressed no desire to take over my spot, and I believed her*, and after I took a break to recoup, I gathered my thoughts and feelings, and decided to stay just a little longer, maybe until the end of the year, but not much longer than that.
Because of my PD, I’ve learned that this job is completely wrong for me and I’m wrong for the job. The only reason I’m still here, is the fact that it gives me some security and stability, but that is the lowest form of motivation. I’ve realized that I am completely miserable here, I didn’t major in accounting, human resources, or anything of the sort; I am a creator, not a number cruncher.
I realized that I am paying a very high price for my stability and security, it only takes two words to end it all. “I quit” That’s it, that’s all it takes.
So why do I stay? My income stream is not yet ready. I’m not ready to jump off the ledge just yet, perhaps there are traces of fear in me that I will have to go through, but as soon as one of my streams starts making some money, I’ll jump head first into the abyss of self employment.
“When you are born in a world you don’t fit in; it’s because you were born to help create a new one.” -Unknown
*I don’t think anyone would. At least no one already working here would. They would have to bring someone new, full of enthusiasm, so that a group of people here squishes it all out of him or her. That is a completely different story, fit for another post.
In the comments below, tell me about you.
1) Have you ever been in a situation like mine?
2) How did you handle it?
3) What prompted you to stay or quit?