In the beginning, god created mess.
No, seriously… You bought the stuff, your mess. Take responsibility for it. Even if you didn’t make the mess, your partner, kids, pets, or even neighbors made a mess in your space.
You are the adult who sets things in motion. You let others know what is ok in the house and what is not.
This is the physical representation of learning to say no. What happens on the outside is a physical representation of what’s happening on the inside.
Let’s say you have a dog that makes a mess all the time. You have the obligation to tell the dog it’s not ok. Show them the mess while you grab it from the neck, point to the mess and say “No!”. Repeat it twice more and then let the pooch go. If you don’t, you’re saying you’re ok with it.
When it comes to neighbors and kids. They should also know what is not ok. I remember growing up in a four bedroom house, and one of the rooms was designated for toys and making huge messes, but the minute crap made its way to my parents’ room, suddenly it was not ok with my mom. We knew it, so we rarely left toys in my parents’ bedroom.
And so it is with everything else.
Nice article and make an interesting read!
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Thank you Kally! I kept it short this time for a quick read. 🙂
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You have written the article well. It is important to say it if you are not ok with the mess, otherwise the remaining people in the house will not know. My issue is that I let it go and keep cleaning until it gets to a point where it gets to me! Maybe I should start saying it from the very first time!
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Yeah, the kicker is when you realize that setting limits and drawing lines in the sand are not just about stuff and messes. It is all about respect.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.
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It’s all about boundaries, isn’t it? It usually is in the end!
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It is about boundaries, and boundaries are about self respect. But you already know all of this. Thank you for the comment Corinne.
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It’s quite a long time since I had a lounge floor covered in toys but your pic is so homely and I do miss the chaos of children at home. (I probably wouldn’t be saying that if the grandkids were close enough to stay regularly and leave toys everywhere!) Metaphorically, your paragraph about dog-training hits the nail on the head – a resolve that could and should be applied to all kinds of situations.
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Wow, thank you Colette. I don’t have any children of my own, which is why I reverted to a childhood experience when it was time to talk about setting the boundaries with kids. Sadly the picture isn’t mine. I will replace it with one of mine shortly.
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Firmness and consistency. But that is so much work. Putting things away is easier – and far less worthy.
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Putting things away for other people? Kids are going to have to learn to put stuff away or they will grow up to be slobs. Might as well make it easier by starting them young. Just from a psychological and developmental standpoint.
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I was referring to the fact that it is often so much easier for me (grandmother at this point) to just put it away than it is to consistently teach demand that children put away after themselves! And it is far less worthy because they do not learn good habits of caring for themselves and their possessions. The kind of discipline that makes life so much easier. You are right all the way.
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