I’ve probably said this before, but it’s worth mentioning it again. One of the greatest catalysts for minimalism is a life-changing event. In my case, it’s always been moving to another city, but last year, for me, it was divorce.
Nothing makes you think about your life and possessions like a divorce does. For months, I’ve been thinking about what to do with stuff my ex left at my home; my brother George always tells me to get rid of all that, and he’s totally right. How I’m going to do that, is still subject for debate.
It’s a time for starting over. More uncluttering is on the way. Hopefully, I won’t forget to take pictures this time, so I can share them with you.
Aside from getting rid of stuff, a divorce also forces you to look at relationships in your life. In my case, I really got to see who were my real friends and who was just faking it. To those people faking it, I happily said au revoir!
It was very eye-opening. I deleted a bunch of people from my social media, my phone, and I no longer consider them for invites to my home. Bridges were burned, but they lit the match, I just cut the burning ropes and watch them fall into the abyss.
There is no reason to “stay friends” with people who have shown you that they don’t really care. It’s for mental clarity and sanity. People who add no value to your life, don’t belong in it. It’s much worse when people not only don’t add any value, but also go out of their way to subtract value. In other words, people who make your life harder than it already is.
Your happiness is at stake, and you need to do whatever you can in order to be happy. Those people have to go, the sooner the better.
There’s always someone else who understands who you are and get you without further explanation. Time to let go of the old to make room for the new.
A few days ago, I had a birthday cookout in my back yard, I fired up the grill and made some steaks and sausages for my guests. I only invited my closest friends. Those who have shown me with actions that they’re truly there for me.
I’d rather have quality than quantity. I think that’s another tenet of minimalism. If it’s not, it should be, damn it!
In closing, those relationships who have not added any value to your life in the last -let’s say- year or two… have already decided to walk out of your life, so why not lock the door behind them and make it official?
But who are these people? You know. Deep down inside you know who they are.
Ask yourselves the following questions:
If you called all your friends to help you with a flat tire, how many would definitely not to your rescue? Immediately you think of a list of people who might go, and people who definitely would not go. Go to the bottom of the list and let those people go.
If you were at the hospital, who is most likely NOT to go see you at all? Go to the bottom of the list and let those people go.
If you had a fight with your significant other, who would be there for you? You know at least a couple of people who would definitely be there… Keep those.
‘Til next time, cheers.